pochowek:

(teleports to 13th century europe) Nobody on their phones. What a beautiful sight :) (peasant beside me cherishes his last gasp of amazement at my clean ass jordans as he dies of common fever)

cerberusjam:

unclefather:

jt7755:

kelleyelizabet:

sex scene = the audience is uncomfortable and learns nothing 

Sax scene= the audience is impressed and learns love for the saxophone

kristenbellspenis:

mjalti:

i have this unnerving fear that i’m gonna meet keanu reeves in some tight elevator and his eyes are going to burn into my soul as he tells me the secrets of this universe then bites me on the neck to give me immortality so he’s not alone anymore

Keanu if you’re listening I’m not a little bitch like OP come get a taste

lesbianshepard:

lesbianshepard:

i’m in tears over this holy shit

It’s a little known fact that in the 60s and 70s the CIA was actually run by fucking wile e coyote

teratomarty:

whitegirlblog:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo

If you’re doing this, it is because you, like the tiger, need enrichment and variety in your life. May I suggest cramming just a whole bunch of raw hamburger into a pumpkin and rolling it around your enclosure?

writeouswriter:

aidashakur:

“6 months from now I will be in a different situation.”

Speak it into existence.

johlyne:

manic:

johlyne:

I don’t understand what’s the April fools joke this year

tumblr still being a website

Well shit they got us all this year

hyokoh-archive:

idc if u like winter or autumn or whatever nothing tops summer evenings when the sun hasnt fully set and the air is still warm but theres a light breeze and everything is getting more quiet except for the birds and crickets and its a perfect time to go on a walk and just breathe

thexfiles:

thexfiles:

as a society we have to start bullying rich ivy league kids more. they’re like “i go to harvard” and you gotta be like “what? never heard of it”

i got a lot of shit about this post a few days ago but ever since that scandal broke? crickets